Posts Tagged ‘UK’

Oh dear : Eurovision

Monday, May 31st, 2010

Well we’ve done it again… Wooden spoon time.

Honestly, I don’t know why we bother. British music might be popular round the globe, but Eurovision isn’t normal music is it nor is the decision making!

The voting is quite amusing. I must admit it was a bit better this year, and not quite as predictable as it has been. A few years ago it looked like Russia would win it from now on. After all the ex-Soviet countries gained their independence they all gave Russia loads of votes, and there are so many of them Russia could be certain of almost reaching triple figures without any input from the rest of Europe. How much of this was down to shared culture and language, or how much was down to sheer terror of upsetting the big bear is unknown!

The Scandinavians would all be nice to each other with Iceland, Sweden, Norway and Denmark all giving each other votes.

The Balkan states would all throw votes to each other too. Greece, Turkey and Cyprus were all friend too.  All in an effort to show that there are no hard feelings I’m sure.

France and UK aren’t that dishonest, we don’t give each other any meaningful votes. Which is the way it should be! :o

Well this year it wasn’t so bad. The winning song was actually quite catchy.

I have to wonder why we even bother. Out here on the Western edge of Europe, on our little island, we really don’t have much in common with Europe. We speak a funny language and sit on America’s lap panting. This doesn’t go down well with the French (does anything?) and the Germans tend to mutter about it too. Ireland have ingratiate themselves with Europe by joining the Euro, and even they can’t win it these days. We might be on the European continent (unlike Israel!), but that’s about all we have in common!

And then there is the choice of song we entered… Written by Pete Waterman of all people! Pete hasn’t had an original thought since the 1980s! Even then when he produced Kylie, Jason Donovan and Rick (roll) Ashley, TV’s Spitting image had a sketch with a music making machine which had a big knob on it labelled “Rick / Kylie” (Link). Yes *thats* why they all sounded the same! It wasn’t the in sound of the 80s, it was the only sound the producers could get from their Casio keyboard!

Guess what, 20 years on the track he wrote/produced still sounded exactly the same! The arrangement, the instrumentation (sorry, synth sounds), everything! It could have been from Kylie’s first album!

What were they thinking when that was picked?!

What? We picked it? On a TV phone vote?

Yeah well… As I’ve always said, TV phone in votes/quizzes are a tax on stupidity. You’ve just let the stupid pick your track!

Well done.

Can we stop wasting money on it now?

Owning the Nokia N97 – Part 11 – The Ovi rip-off

Thursday, October 1st, 2009

UK residents have recently been exposed to some very iPhone-esq “There’s an app for that” advertising from Nokia promoting the Ovi store. Except the only application that I’ve seen advertised is Gravity, a twitter client.

Being a recent signup to the twittering classes I’m still playing about with various twitter applications on my N97, so it was kind of nice to know of another one.

So off I go to the Ovi store… A search for “twitter” produced “Gravity – 10 day trail”… Oh, no mention of this in the advert, or maybe there was some small print on the bottom of the screen only visible on a 1080P HD broadcast. I wondered how much. £8! That’s a bit steep for a twitter client, it’s not exactly a complicated protocol, and I already had 3 applications that could do it on my N97 which cost a grand total of £0 (tweets60, Fring and Nimbuzz).

I decided to have a look at exactly what this £8 application could provide that the others couldn’t. As Ovi is particularly crap at giving detailed information on applications, I did a little google for the author and ended up on their main site. You can buy it direct from there too (don’t forget you’re a Nokia owner, not an iPhone owner who is tied into one source!)… Guess what… £6.05!

Funny value, probably due to a currency converstion, but even allowing for a little fluctuation, it still won’t come close to the Ovi store’s £8.

I guess you the Ovi store customer are paying rather directly for the advert!

So let this be a warning, just because it’s in the Ovi store, it doesn’t mean you have to purchase it from there. Use the freedom of not being an Apple drone, and have a look for other sources, it could save you more than a few pennies.

Owning the Nokia N97 – Part 8

Thursday, September 10th, 2009

Firmware

Well true to the word of their automated message, I did get a reply to my “where is V12 for the UK N97″ question I sent to Nokia. Unfortunately it reminds me a lot of the old pilot lost in the fog joke (link).

The firmware in a Nokia phone is dependent on the country it is released for as the cellular networks in every country are different to varying degrees. The release of a firmware update is dependent upon 2 things :

1 – General adaptation to the specific networks found within the country in question,

2 – Adaptation by specific networks for use with phones SIM locked to their networks.

In your case, of course, only the former applies. Please be patient, it will be released shortly.

Can anyone define “shortly”… There really should be a ban on using that completely valueless measurement of time!

Oh well… It was worth a try wasn’t it?!

Instant messenging and VOIP

Well now we get down to some fun stuff. I’m sure you have an instant messenger account of some variety. Microsoft, yahoo, AIM, Skype, ICQ to name but a few. Well how about having them on your mobile phone (with your “unlimited” data connection)?

I have been using an application called Fring for quite a while on my N95. It works very well, and I’ve had quite a few conversations with people over skype whilst taking advantage of open wireless points in some strange parts of the world. Having a chat with friends back home whilst costing absolutely nothing is rather cool.

In 2008 there was a new arrival on the mobile IM/VOIP block, Nimbuzz, so I thought I would give it a go on my N97.

One of my main reasons for even thinking of trying a new IM client is a short coming they both share. I have two messenger account, one I use for business, and one I use for personal. Unfortunately both Fring and Nimbuzz only allow you to have one Microsoft messenger connection open at a time, a restriction I don’t have on my desktop thanks to Trillian. So although they both have the restriction, there is nothing to stop me running both Fring and Nimbuzz side by side, and can you think of a better way to test them?

(I will apologise in advance as I interchange “messenger”, “MSN” and “Windows Live” when talking about the instant messenger from Microsoft, they have changed its name too many time! I believe that this month it’s officially “Windows Live Messenger”).

So far today they have both been perfectly well behaved. Nimbuzz does strike me as a little more polished, and Fring does make me feel slightly sea-sick with it’s over-friendly huggy huggy website. It could be the green colour scheme, but the comic font really doesn’t help!

One of the issues I have always had with Fring is checking for updates. On the app you have to go into the about page, find the version, then open the website, dig about a bit to find the version history, then decide if you are out of date and download/install. just having the current version number shown on the download page would be an improvement.

Nimbuzz is far more integrated. There is a check for update link on the application. As the meerkats would say “Simples” (non UK readers will just have to take my word that you just missed the most hillarious joke ever typed on the intarweb).

So how do they measure up?

Well for my use there is not much to choose between them, both do Skype, Windows Live (MSN), yahoo, AIM and ICQ. I think I err slightly towards the new boy right now. Fring can do Twitter (but I already have a twitter client I like – Tweets60), Nimbuzz can do Gadu Gadu (ask any Polish friend).

fring

Some of Fring's IM connection "add-ins"

nimbuzz

Some of Nimbuzz's IM "Communities"

The one thing that really does swing it in favour of Nimbuzz, in a big way, is the Windows Live status message, the little one liner you can do in messenger to say “Eating my dinner”. In Nimbuzz you can set this to whatever you like. Fring on the other hand sets this to “On mobile by www.fring.com”, a bit of self promotion is okay I guess, but this isn’t a default, that is it! You can’t change it! The earlier versions of Fring did not do this, and I don’t appreciate this being forced upon me. Apart from anything else, if I am using this as a professional contact point, I don’t want my contacts to know I’m away from my desk/office and doing my shopping! Even worse, it seems to be alarmingly persistent, even after you log in with a real Windows live Messenger client, the Fring advert status remains.

–> Part 9

The end as we know it…

Thursday, July 16th, 2009

broken-tv

There was a time when British TV was seen as the best in the world.

I haven’t checked with the rest of the world recently, but for the sanity of the planet I sincerely hope this is not still the case!

British TV these days really is complete tosh!

The entire schedule is either made up of programs inspired by celebrity culture (if you can really call a fixation on people famous for not much as culture), or cash machine TV which is basically premium rate phone lines wrapped up in the cheapest produced television you could possibly imagine!

Okay, maybe I exaggerate a little, but it’s not far off! There are some good dramas, mainly American, such as NCIS or CSI, but even CSI gets a premium rate question on the end which can be answered by anyone who was even vaguely watching. Family Guy and The Simpsons have yet to be infected, but I’m sure it can’t be far off.

Just looking at the TV guide for right now provides Celebrity Masterchef – Watch famous people cook things! No premium lines, but *yawn* and Big Brother Live – Watch the biggest freaks the producers locked up in a house for several week. Then vote them out on a premium rate telephone lines. How about once you’ve found these freaks just leave them in there, or at least get them booked into some kind of therapy! Here’s the best bit, it’s currently 4am, can you guess what’s going on in Big Brother *live*? Yup, you got it, Night vision cameras of people sleeping! Highlight was been snoring! It’s not as if anyone has ever got up to anything rude on UK Big Brother, and if they did I’m sure the cameras would cut to a view of the empty garden with the sound dubbed over with birds tweeting. Only our European cousins get to see rude bits. Then again, given the genes currently locked in the house, maybe it would be better if they didn’t breed. Ever!

Even programs which on the surface look innocent enough have premium rate questions on the end that even a five year old can answer. The Gadget show for instance, I like gadgets, I can even forgive that one of the presenters is so Apple obsessed he’s probably being kept alive by machine as Steve Jobs now has his liver! What I cannot forgive is the competition question at the end. Sure it’s a huge pile of stuff up for grabs, but you can’t tell me that the program makes a loss by the time the phone line closes. I can’t find an online list of the questions, which is a pity as I’d love to quote them, but I can give you an example of the kind of thing you’d get (for all I know they have used this one!).

The iPod is made by

  1. Orange
  2. Apple
  3. Banana

This would be on a program which had spent 30% of the time talking about and showing an iPod, so even the hard of thinking would be in with a chance!

Fifth Gear is another. Mind buggeringly simple questions, which usually win you a second hand car. Okay, the car is usually a classic, 1980’s Porsche 911 for example, but not something which is really going to stretch the budget too much, and not something which is not going to be covered by the income from the premium rate telephone line. Quite often the question would be related to the prize, and the answer given in the paragraph preceding the question! A typical question based on my example prize car would be “Who makes the 911?”.

Now my question is… In the UK lotteries are licensed. Currently there is only allowed to be one lottery run in the country, and that is by a company called Camelot. They run the national lottery, the scratch cards etc etc, make a huge amount of cash for themselves from it, and give some of it to good causes (picked by a panel who have an idea of good causes which is rather skewed from that of the general population). Anyway, nobody else is allowed to run a lottery, a game of chance. Only games of skill are allowed, which is where the 3 questions on these premium rate lines come in. You have to provide the correct answer to get put into the winners pot, and then if you are very very lucky, picked as the winner by random.

Does nobody check the stats on these quizzes? There is no skill involved! The questions are so simple even the product of our current education system can get the answer correct! Please, someone, put me out of this pain! I’m sure we have a regulator for this kind of thing. I’d love that job, they can’t be doing much! Surely if a premium line has 90%+ of calls answering option 1, it’s not a game of skill, it’s a lottery!

Honestly, I have more respect for the Party People style TV channels where a scantily clad young lady will titillate you on the phone for £££s a minute. At least they’re honest (I would say they’re not hiding anything, but that would be wrong!). Not that I’ve ever seen such channels, I’m errr, just going on what I’ve heard, and I don’t have a shrine to Lilly Roma!

Grrrr!

Must go, need to take my medication before I turn into Charlie Brooker.


Broken TV image by

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kevinsteele/ / CC BY-NC 2.0

titillate

Orange and the Nokia N97

Tuesday, July 7th, 2009

nokia-n97Well apparently the Nokia N97 is now available, and I’m interested in upgrading to one. As a member of the Nokia owners club, Nokia have even contacted me via SMS message and invited me to call them about upgrading.

Sorry Nokia, that’s not going to happen. I’ve never paid more than £50 for a phone upgrade, and I’m not about to start now!

What I’m waiting for is for my mobile carrier, Orange, to release the N97, then I can go through the cycle of ringing them, getting their “best offer”, leaving it a couple of days, calling back and requesting my PAC (the code required to transfer a mobile number from one network to another), and then finally getting a genuine “best offer”. Sometimes I even try to tickle a car charger out of them as a final haggle :-)

We’ve played the game before, many many times. I’ve been with them for over 10 years, and ever since the invention of the PAC, I have used this as a swift kick to tell them I really am serious about leaving. I’m amazed their systems don’t point this out to them. Maybe they enjoy the game.

Anyway, back to the plot… Nokia released the N97 at the beginning of July and sold exclusively from their stores. They said the mobile carriers would follow the week after, which is where I could start my little upgrade fee game. I watched, I waited, and although the CarPhoneWarehouse offer it on Orange and Vodafone, there was still no show on the Orange website as an upgrade option.

Eventually I rang Orange and asked where it was. The answer I got was that Orange had received a batch of N97s, but upon testing they had failed their quality control, so they had all been sent back.

For the uninitiated I will translate… Orange always have the firmware of Symbian phones modified. I don’t know why. Nothing they add to the phones has ever filled a gaping feature hole. In fact I generally found the changes rather clunky and horrible (it doesn’t help that they insist on using their corporate colours for everything – I’ll let you guess what colour that is!).

I’ve experienced this “Orangified” firmware on the Nokia 7650, 6600, N70 and N95. During my time with the N95 the delay this caused in firmware updates becoming available (if at all) and the crippling of the VOIP stack so you couldn’t talk via a wifi point, became a point of major annoyance. Luckily there are a couple of tricks you can perform to put the phone back to standard Nokia firmware. Change the model number of the phone to that of a generic N95, then update to the latest firmware via the Nokia website. Taadaa! Standard N95! Wonderful!

So what has happened to the Orange N97? Well Orange have obviously taken it upon themselves to “modify” the firmware again. There was already talk of Orange/Vodafone throwing their toys out of the pram back in January 2009 as the N97 was to come with Skype built in, so I’m sure we can expect to see the VOIP function crippled again. By the looks of things they have screwed it up and have to have another go at crippling the phone without buggering everything up.

According to the man from Orange, Carphonewarehouse are selling generic N97s that are locked to the Orange or Vodafone network, but running untouched Nokia software.

So Orange, thanks so much… I am having to wait whilst you remove features from what could be my next phone. Features that I will reinstate almost instantly I have it in my hands!

Update 15th July 2009

The Orange website is now showing the N97 as coming soon, although it doesn’t have its features correctly entered in its search filters (if you select 3G the N97 isn’t shown. Selecting Touch screen correctly shows the 5800 and the N97. However it also shows E75! D’oh!)

Update 21st July 2009

I spoke to Orange yesterday and they said it should have released last week, but it’s had to go back yet again and that I should ring next week to see if they know more. The guy I spoke to said they didn’t even know if they would be selling the phone at all!

I did suggest that as T-mobile and Vodafone both had the N97 with no issue, and that the carphonewarehouse offering on Orange (which he had suggest as an upgrade route for me) were also happy with the phone, maybe Orange should leave the firmware alone and stop messing about with it!

Update 27th July 2009

Well my weekly update… I went through the IVR, and decided to go for the “I’m thinking of leaving orange” option for once. Maybe I would get someone with more of a clue.

The lady I spoke to repeated exactly the same as the guy last week (including the “we might not release it” line). I asked when the next batch was expected in for testing and she said “Sorry, I can’t predict the future sir”, which was rather rude. I’m sure Nokia provides Orange with an ETA, and I’m sure Orange demands one.

I asked how come Vodafone have the N97, and she said “Well vodafone don’t test the software like Orange do…”, Odd that all these untested N97 users on vodafone don’t seem to be rioting and crying for blood eh?

I think I might ring back and see if I can get through to someone who’ll treat me as a long standing valued customer and not a naughty school boy.

Saying “Sir” after a sarcastic comment does not make it professional.

Oh, and pop on over to Orange’s site and ask about the N97 here. They won’t even publish my questions, even the polite ones, or even the question “Why do you keep rejecting my posts?”!

Update 28th July 2009

After yesterdays conversation with Ms Stroppy I decided to try again. I went through to the usual upgrades line and the girl told me it’s failed and they won’t be stocking it. I asked when it failed and she said “Last Friday” (24th july).

As I spoke to Ms Stroppy on the 27th and she didn’t say that, it’s evident that either people are singing from a different hymn sheet, or they’re just making it up as they go along…

I tried again. This time I selected the “I’m thinking of leaving Orange” line, which probably gets through to the same call centre people, but at least there might be a star on the end of my name when it pops up on their screen.

The chap I spoke to said it’s still being tested. I told him I’d spoken to someone two minutes before who said it had failed and he said he didn’t have anything like that on his screen. He said they were having problems getting their software onto the phone, and that I could purchase it through CarPhoneWareHouse. I commented that CPWH are selling a generic firmware model, and that maybe Orange should concider doing the same as I personally knew of quite a few people who are waiting to get the N97 through Orange (that’s you lot *waves*). He said if they couldn’t get it working by the end of the month that he thinks it will be dropped.

Me thinks that Orange should change their website…

orange-N97-maybe

Update 30th July 2009

Following a comment that Orange had shelved the N97 I decided to ring them myself (again). I got the same answer I have usually got “waiting for testing”, “No ETA”. I decided as the PAC (the code you require to transfer your number to another network) is sent through the post and is valid for 28 days I thought I might as well ask for it. You never know, I might get a “Oh why are you leaving” phone call… Friends who have changed networks in the past always seem to get bombarded with offers from their old networks afterwards, so if nothing else I’ll get to tell someone from Orange (who might actually collect feedback), why I’m leaving after all these years. It’s not just because of the lack of N97, it’s the lack of information and the impression that you have several hands and yet no chance of finding your own backside with any of them even when provided with the GPS coordinates!

Oh, and Orange, if you’re interested, this post has had over 350 hits since it was published 3 weeks ago, and is approaching 100 in the last 2 days. You really should see the search referral strings:

  • will orange ever release the n97
  • orange n97 failed testing
  • why isn’t the n97 available through orange
  • nokia n97 orange testing
  • when will orange release n97

Update 31st July 2009

<accent=”geordie”>Day 27</accent> Sorry, HTML based big brother joke. Although sometimes it does feel like I am trapped with my only information coming via a voice link to a sadistic b*stard who’s playing mind games with me. For those that aren’t reading between the lines too well, I’m talking about the Orange ones… No not Tango man… Oh I give up!

Well todays news, as pointed out by one of my flock, is that Orange have now removed the “Coming soon” N97 from their website. (See my modified version above for proof it ever existed!).

This could be for several reasons…

  1. They have given up and failed it… So why are they not telling us… Maybe because they want to string us along until they get something shiny like the iPhone which they believe we will want.
  2. They have got fed up with people ringing saying “Coming soon? When? When? WHEEEEN?!!!”

I’m loosing the will to live!!! Maybe I should try asking Nokia.

Now where’s my PAC?!

Update 1st August 2009

I won’t repeat what written in the comments, basically it looks like Orange are stringing us along with a maybe by the end of August, but no promises (or prices).

So maybe we should start ringing them up and asking them about this instead…

Nokia N97 mini

Personally I’m not convinced I want it slightly smaller at the expense of a camera lens cover.

Update 4th August 2009

Well the contradicting information continues. Thanks to all those posting comments and telling their stories. I think this blog should be required reading for management/PR courses!

The traffic to this page continues its upward climb. There was the normal Sunday dip, but over 100 visits both yesterday and today, and there are over 4 hours left of today.

Update 5th August 2009

Plenty of activity in my comments, but very little from Orange, although they have managed to do some press releases about new 3G card data prices.

Inspired by sjh’s screen grab, I thought I’d do one of my own…

Not sure what everyone does on a Sunday, but they're not on here... I can't remember, was it sunny?

Not sure what everyone does on a Sunday, but they're not on here... I can't remember, was it sunny?

Hello Orange, are you listening, you’ve got quite a fair few people here who would like a straight answer, and would like to feel like valued customers and not peasants huddled behind the Lord’s dinning room window in the hope that they get thrown something yummy.

Update 6th August 2009

I was having a look at the various network deals for the N97. I stumbled upon Dialaphone and mobileexpress. They are both trading names of Phones4U… Why they have two I don’t know. The websites are pretty much identical, so it doesn’t really require you to look at the “About us” to work out they are the same company. Amusingly because the websites are basically the same, from the same templates, and probably on the same server, both “About us” pages claim they are the “UK’s No 1 direct supplier of mobile phones”.

However their deals seem to have some subtle variations.

For me, the best deal on the N97 can be found on Dialaphone. It’s an Orange Dolphin 45 18 month contract with a £10 a month discount applied for 18 months. 1200 minutes, Magic number, unlimited text, unlimited internet and a free N97… £35 a month! Sounds good to me!

The only things to watch are the add ons they give you free for a month (insurance and gadget helpline), which you’d need to cancel before the end of the first month to avoid (especially important for the gadget helpline as they bill you for 6 month chunks). Also as the £10 a month discount runs out at the end of the contract period I’d stick a reminder into the phone on the day I get it to tell me to cancel it and switch to a cheaper contract or SIM only deal.

This beats any of the deals (even the Web exclusive ones) offered by CarPhone Warehouse and also Phones4U the parent company of both these web based companies.

So guys and girls, have you found a better deal?

Update 10th August 2009

Just saw this over on the orange forum:

"Thanks for your comments everyone. We are glad to provide a forum for you to chat and debate."

That’s from one of their admins… Curiously enough they never seem to be happy to provide a forum for my chat and debate… That’s why I created this blog!

Would a few of your guys/girls like to go over there and see if you can get a post published linking to this blog? That would be funny! Link

Update 12th August

Hehe… Guess they got annoyed with us… They closed the blog comments (older blog entries are still open, so it’s not an age thing)! I was perfectly polite. Were you? Oh… You called them what? Ahhh… That explains it.

Having just checked if the N97 has sneaked back up (it hasn’t), I notice they now only have 8 Nokias on monthly contracts. They had 11 before they removed the N97…

Update 14th August 2009

Well I see some of my “flock” have already managed to obtain their N97s via Phones4U, and are now taunting me from the pub! So I think I’m going to go the dialaphone route and play musical numbers… Although I am going to have to get my old N95 unlocked… Doubt Orange will want to give me an unlock code for free after I’ve already got my PAC :-)

Anyway, whilst doing a quick, last minute check of the deal, I noticed a couple of nice little bits of website decoration I couldn’t help sharing…

Phones4U's list of most wanted phones. Number 2, not bad...

Phones4U's list of most wanted phones. Number 2, not bad... I wonder where the black one is?

DialaPhone's list of most wanted on Orange... What's that I see at number 1... AND number 6!

DialaPhone's list of most wanted on Orange... What's that I see at number 1... AND number 6!

So Orange, what do you think? Kinda miss-judged it haven’t you.

Update 19th August 2009

I finally gave up waiting for Orange to tell us what they are doing and went and struck a deal with Phones4U.

So now I have a new blog entry called…. Owning the N97 :-)